Painful

I can’t tell you how incredibly painful it is for me to watch myself on video preaching.  I don’t mind watching other people.  Maybe that’s because they look and sound so much better than I do.  I look at myself and think, “Oh.  This is bad.”  My cohort peers don’t think it’s that bad, or at least, they’re kind enough to keep it to themselves.  I know, it’s part of the process.  I wish there were another path, but to improve at anything means being utterly ruthless with yourself.  I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be a better preacher.  Although.  There’s a part of me that wishes everyone would say, “Oh, you can’t get any better!”  Oh, but I can, and it’s painful.

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